Readers: It is true generosity to be kind and generous
In the article "Shi Shuo Xin Yu · Grace", it is said that Xie Wan, a famous scholar in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, is very generous. Once, a group of celebrities went to Zhenglu Pavilion to see Zhi Daolin off. Cai Zishu arrived first and sat next to Zhi Daolin. Xie Wan came late and sat a little further away. Cai Zishu left for a while, and Xie Wan sat in his seat. When Uncle Cai Zi came back, he saw Xie Wan sitting on his seat, and together with the cushion, he threw Xie Wan to the ground, and then sat back on his original place. Xie Wan got up slowly, tidied up his clothes, and sat back in his original position, showing no sign of anger. I just said to Uncle Cai: "You are a strange person, you almost ruined my face." Uncle Cai replied unceremoniously: "I didn't plan for your face."
Humiliated in public, no Angry but not startled, so magnanimous, it seems to be comparable to Han Xin who was humiliated by his crotch - a man can endure the unbearable of the world, so he can do what the world cannot do.
In the Chu-Han War, Han Xin pacified Wei State, defeated Dai and Zhao, surrendered Yan State, wiped out the 200,000 Chu troops who aided Qi, and forced Xiang Yu to slay himself. And what about Xie Wan? In 359 A.D., he led a large army to crusade against Qianyan, and led his troops into Guoying. At that time, another team led by Xi Tan retreated to Pengcheng. Xie Wan thought that Xi Tan had been defeated by Qianyan, so he led his troops to flee in a hurry. When fleeing, he asked the guard: "Where is the jade stirrup I usually use?"
Xie An, who accompanied him on the expedition, said:
"At this time, do you still have to be so particular about it?"< br>
Xie Wan has a friend, the famous calligrapher Wang Xizhi. Knowing that Xie Wan was not a general, Wang Xizhi was deeply worried, and wrote to Xie Wan: "It's hard for me to look down on the same people with the rhyme of disdain. , It is a far ear. I hope that every time you share the joys and sorrows with the soldiers, you will do your best. "Eating has two tastes, and there is no heavy seat." Accumulate small to become tall, and the king will keep it."
It means, don't take risks in the military, share the joys and sorrows with the soldiers in life, don't do small things for good, big things are accumulated from small things. However, Xie Wan didn't listen to his friend's advice at all, insisted on going his own way, and finally suffered a defeat. The sergeants wanted to kill him, but for Xie An's sake, they didn't do it. Xie Wan, who lost his army and lost his general, was soon dismissed as a commoner.
As the saying goes, victory and defeat are commonplace in military affairs. After losing the battle, the sergeants wanted to kill the coach, which shows how bad the relationship between the coach and the sergeants is! Freezing three feet does not happen in a day. Wang Xizhi wrote a letter to persuade Xie Wan to share the joys and sorrows with the soldiers. He must have seen the tense relationship between Xie Wan and the soldiers.
Elegance refers to the generosity of the spirit. Elegance, elegance, and refinement are intrinsic qualities. Quantity, measurement, tolerance is great. Grace is not only manifested in facial expressions and manners, but also open-minded and tolerant in heart, not only happy when you hear it, but also follow the good advice. No matter how harsh other people's opinions are, evenEven if it is not completely correct, it can be "corrected if there is something, and encouraged if there is nothing". People like Xie Wan can't even listen to the advice of their friends, so what kind of generosity can they talk about?
Xie An said to his nephew Xie Xuan:
"Zhonglang (ie Xie Wan) is unique for thousands of years." Xie Xuan immediately retorted: "Zhonglang is not open-minded enough, how can Can it be considered unique?" ("Shi Shuo Xin Yu · Light Slander")
It seems that it is not only Wang Xizhi who sees through Xie Wan, but also Xie Xuan.